How to make effective use of your child’s obsessiveness

2016.06.30

Often young children become obsessed with one thing and are unable to pay attention to their surroundings.

For example, “they only wear the clothing they like”, “they only play with the same toys”, and “they have a fit if they do not leave home at the same time every day,” etc.

Is there a way to use these types of obsessions in child-rearing?

Consider the reasons for your child’s obsessiveness

While raising their children, many parents often ask themselves why their child is so stubborn.

However, even we, as adults, have certain obsessions.
Some people are fine going out in any type of clothing while others prefer to go out only in certain brands.

What is the reason for this obsession?

When we have an obsession that supports our beliefs it is often hard to change it.

Young children have various reasons for clinging on to their beliefs.
Young children have just started growing and are curious about the unknown and at the same time are quite anxious about new things.

By lessening their anxiety even a little, parents can also ease their obsessions.

Handle their obsessions in a flexible manner

Children often have obsessions regarding their clothing which causes them to take a long time to choose what they will wear every morning before school. How can we, as parents, best handle this type of obsession?

In this situation, the more a parent talks about it the more obsessed the child will become.
Telling a child that you want him/her to wear a certain outfit will just cause them to rebel and become even more obsessive.
We, as parents, cannot spend that much time on the subject since it may lead the child to be late for school and the parents to be late for work. Many parents in this situation end up giving in to their child and letting him/her wear what he/she wants.

One solution to this situation may be to have your child choose their outfit the night before.
If they change their mind in the morning, it is a good idea to give them a time limit to make their final decision.
Such as, letting them know that they can change their mind but they only have 10 minutes.

Children are different than adults, it is difficult for them to determine how much they can cling to their beliefs.
When things do not work out it is important to shift one’s perspective.

Even if they wear the same clothing every day, it is not bothering anyone.
It sometimes works to provide a few versions of the same clothing.

Obsessions can be used to help develop concentration skills

It is better for children to have some interests rather than not being interested in anything.
Being obsessed with something helps one develop one’s concentration skills.

Children who like trains and buses often remember the train routes and station names which will help them when studying.
Children who enjoy playing games and reading comics learn from digging into them.
For example, in a game that focuses on bugs, children learn the names of bugs and their modes of life.
The knowledge that they gain and their study skills will help them later in life.

Why do children become obsessed? It is understanding the reasoning behind their obsession that is important.
Understanding the reasons will make it easier to find solutions and improve.
Being able to effectively use their obsession will help them study and grow in the future.

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