What happens when mom and dad’s style of child-raising is different?

2016.06.30

Many moms and dads are concerned because their style of child-raising is different.
When each parent says different things, the children are also effected.
Holding onto their own style too strictly can also lead to marital problems.

Let’s discuss how we can handle situations where mom and dad’s style of child-raising are different and they cannot seem to come up with a compromise.

Children should be raised with various sets of values in mind

Please refer back to when you were growing up.
Do you remember your parents having the same way of thinking?
Most of us were raised in an environment where parents, grandparents, relatives and neighbors had different sets of values.

When growing up in an environment where the people around them have different sets of values and different opinions, children learn that there is more than one answer.
They then learn how to choose the answer that best fits their personality.

Hints for talking about child-raising

This being said, when raising our children, it is often important to make specific decisions.

One solution may be to decide which parent is in charge of what activity. For example, “Mom is in charge of studying” and “Dad is in charge of how they spend their days off”. When their opinions are different, parents should take the time to discuss both sides and come up with a decision.

During the discussion, parents should consider how they want to raise their child and their conclusions or child-raising. Considering what type of family environment they want to create is another good approach.
It is logical to decide about the child’s future and the future of the family.

In the end, parents may realize that their styles are not as different as they thought and find similarities that can be emphasized from now on.

Child-raising does not often go as expected

When parents have different opinions, they are often forming these opinions based on the same goals for their child’s future.
Mom and Dad both feel that their child is very important to them.

When Mom and Dad have different views and say different things, children end up choosing the road that they feel is correct.
Often children do not grow as Dad and Mom expected.

Out in the real world, children will interact with people with different opinions.
Having different opinions at home is a great way for children to learn about diversity.
It is important that parents do not stress their opinions too much.
Both Mom’s and Dad’s opinions are based on many years of experience.
As partners, it is important that each party recognizes the other’s experience and point of view.

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